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Review: Smart but Scattered Teens by Guare, Dawson, and Guare

Smart but scattered teens

Perhaps you have one of them, a teen who is bright but just can’t seem to get things together.  Sometimes I suspect most of us, parents and teens, are scattered in one way or another.  But some struggle in a deeper way with executive skills, ‘the functions of our brains and thought processes that help us regulate our behavior, set goals and meet them, and balance demands and desires, wants, needs, and have-tos’.   Those teens who struggle more than average need extra help to make a safe and happy transition to adulthood.

In fact, many cases of ‘disobedience’ and ‘rebellion’ actually represent situations where teens do not have the skills to do what is required, whether it is resist peer pressure, assess risk, organize belongings, manage time, or whatever, and after a certain number of failures they give up.  The promise and premise of Smart but Scattered Teens is that such skills can be taught and nurtured.

Smart but Scattered Teens is a guide for parents to understand what their struggling teens are dealing with and how to help them overcome these issues.  Executive skill deficiencies make independence more difficult and more risky for teens, and because most teens are very much interested in independence they will be motivated to learn such skills…once they become aware that they lack them.  However, this in itself requires a degree of maturity as well as an openness to adult help.

The most helpful part of this book is breaking down the general scatteredness into 11 separate executive skills required to be a successful adult.  It can be a great relief to realize that there are strengths as well as weaknesses, and that generalized feelings of inadequacy or concern can be narrowed down to just a few manageable areas, instead of expanding to an overwhelming feeling of total incompetence.

What are these executive skills?

  • working memory,
  • planning/prioritization,
  • organization,
  • time management,
  • metacognition,
  • response inhibition,
  • emotional control,
  • sustained attention,
  • task initiation,
  • goal-directed persistence,
  • flexibility.

(Note that the first five involve thinking skills, and the next six focus on behavior.)  Each of these skills is outlined and explained, as is much background information.  Then there are two tests to determine teens’ strengths and weaknesses, a self-test and a parent test.  There is also a self-test for parents so that they will be aware of their own strengths and weaknesses as they work with their teens.

A crucial point of this book, which bears repeating, is that even with motivation, scattered teens may not know how to do what needs to be done.  Although it may look like disobedience, carelessness, or rebellion, it may be a simple lack of necessary skills.  And skills can be taught.

Thus the second half of the book is devoted to helping parents understand how teach and nurture these skills.  Each skill is outlined and explained with stories and a table of questions; then practical suggestions are given and explained, focusing on school and driving issues.   The goal is to take the single most pressing problem and focus on it first, and then to move on as needed.

How do we do this without hovering over our teens, annoying and alienating them and wearing ourselves out?  After all, if we damage the relationship, we have lost our ability to help our teens.  The authors address this issue extensively, pointing out that the goal is to provide just enough support for our struggling teens to help them be successful.  We also need to help them distinguish between tasks that are difficult (and that may require training) and those that are distasteful (and that just require motivation and consequences).  If struggles have escalated to the point where the relationship is damaged, we may even need to find outside coaches to help our children.

Above all, this book will help parents train their vulnerable teens in righteousness by providing them with skills that many other teens can pick up on their own.  Proverbs, a Bible book written especially for young people, is full of wisdom about these areas and it goes further than Smart but Scattered, indicating that some executive skill deficiencies lead directly to sin.  We need to train our children in the way they should go, and some will require more focused and explicit brain training to be able to act on the moral training.  That is what this book is for.

Will the material in Smart but Scattered Teens solve all of a scattered teen’s problems?  Of course not.  He or she will still be a sinner.  And the brain is still growing and will take years of experience to mature.  But the book will give scattered teens an arsenal of tools to deal with weaknesses as well as an encouraging understanding of personal strengths.  It will help them fight some of the temptations that are unique to the weaknesses they have.  Used wisely, it can also strengthen the parent-teen relationship.  If your teen seems to struggle more than most with the mechanics of becoming a responsible adult, Smart but Scattered Teens may help.

On a personal note, sometimes I, myself, feel overwhelmed by general feelings of ditziness.  Taking the parent survey focused these feelings onto just a few areas of weakness.   I now also understand better what is going on when I struggle to meet my responsibilities or am extra susceptible to sin; knowing what the issues are helps me to deal with them.  I suspect that a struggling teen might feel the same way.

Note that Smart but Scattered is not geared toward homeschoolers but its suggestions, ideas, and examples can easily be adapted.

If you have a younger child who seems excessively scattered, the authors have earlier written a bestseller, Smart but Scattered, to help them.  I have not read it but suspect it could be as useful as the book for teens.

Some of my related articles:

Concussions can lead to a loss of executive function.  Here is a list of concussion supplements and practices that were prescribed for one of our children.

When Your Teen Can No Longer Focus

When Your Child Cannot Focus:  Psychoeducational Testing at Home

This is yet another book in the in the 2016 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge and is also linked to Saturday Reviews, Booknificent Thursdays, Literacy Musings Monday, What to Read Wednesdays and The Book Nook.  For more encouragement see Raising Homemakers, Titus 2 Tuesday, Tell it to Me Tuesday, and Finishing Strong.

Disclosure: I borrowed this book from our library and, as usual, am not compensated for this review. 

Sex Education with Jonathan McKee

We Christian homeschoolers can teach our kids almost anything, and we do.  The one thing we have issues with, however, is sex education and that is because, as Christians, most of us are unaware of what the world out there is actually like these days.

And unless you’ve seen the enemy, you don’t know what your kids are up against or how to help them.

Jonathan McKee has written two great books to help parents with this.  More than Just the Talk gives parents an idea of what is going on in our culture and teaches us how to talk to our teens.   Sex Matters talks to teens themselves about the two big questions:  “Why wait?” and “How far?”  The two books go together, and parents should read both….

More than Just The Talk

S-x Matters by Jonathan McKee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can read the rest of this article over at the Curriculum Choice.

Back to School (Weeks 16 and 17)

A 'balanced diet' of holiday food: an espresso shortbread cookie on a chocolate-covered peanut butter ball on fruitcake on chips--and the top three are gluten free!

A ‘balanced diet’ of holiday food: an espresso shortbread cookie on a chocolate-covered peanut butter ball on fruitcake on chips–and the top three are gluten free!

Life

From running around in shorts and bare feet on Christmas Eve (in Ontario!) to blankets of snow and ice, we have enjoyed the last month.  Holidays, decorations, special food…and then back to schoolwork.  But, schoolwork or not, the fire still glows warmly, and there are still large cups of tea, good books, conversations on the couch, games, and laughter.

Learning

The past two weeks of learning have been very basic, with the bare minimum in math, writing, history, logic, Dutch, science, and Bible.  Although we have been faithful in our daily work, except the past two days when one of the girls was throwing up and both of them had a cold, it seems as though very little has gotten done.  We did start something new, Career Exploration from 7 Sisters, which seems interesting and helpful.  And the girls did read a lot, mostly adult nonfiction, so they learned from that.

But it has been hard to get back into the special things like King Alfred’s English, Drawing Textbook, and music history.  We haven’t even been able to find a novel to read aloud, so we’re reading Whatever Happened to Penny Candy? instead.  Now, that’s a good book but, really, not being able to find a worthwhile novel to read aloud is unheard of in our family.

Somehow, I feel we are like a raveling cloth instead of an organized homeschool.  I suppose the issue is simple:  Who said homeschooling had to be organized?  As long as the children are learning, the main goal is being accomplished, and as long as I’m recording what is going on, the secondary goal, preparing records for university applications, is being accomplished.  Really, what more could one ask for?

Books

Enough of such thoughts.  Let’s move on to something exciting, books.  Because I had a significant health set back, I had a few couch days and used them to read:

Jane Eyre, which I discussed here.  I like it much better now that I’ve lived a bit.

Flowers in the Rain, a collection of short stories by Rosamunde Pilcher.  Each time I read something by Pilcher, my favorite modern fiction author, I realize that if I ever write fiction, I want to write like Pilcher.  If you’ve never read these short stories, you will love them.

An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth by Chris Hadfield.  The author said that becoming an astronaut is about changing the way you think, and that reminded me of Romans 12:2 which tells us to be transformed through the renewing of our minds.  Reading the book through that lens made it even more profound and worthwhile.

Smart but Scattered Teens.  I hope to post a review of this book soon. If you have a smart teen who often astounds you by his or her complete ditziness in some area, your family will benefit from this book.  Or you may like it for yourself; I found it very illuminating.

Susanna, Don’t You Cry, a novel by yet another member of the talented McIntire family, will come out in February and I’ll publish my review then.

With the girls, I finished Sun on the Stubble, an Australian children’s classic that had us laughing uproariously at times.  In the midst of its vigorous writing it also contained some of the best metaphors I have ever read aloud.

Individually we all dreamt through The Private World of Tasha Tudor and The No-Churn Ice Cream Book, and sometime this year we are going to eat Baked Alaska.

As for Bible reading, I’m still working on Jeremiah with the girls after meals, and after another reading through Job I have begun Psalms for myself.  When my husband is home, we read 2 Corinthians at meals.

The girls have been reading books like Don’t Turn Your Back on an Angus Cow, Animals Make Us Human, Brain Maker, Smart but Scattered Teens, and Around the World in 80 Days.  Reading that list makes me feel so much better about our slow progress in traditional school subjects!

Recommended Links

Reading Job several times in a row really makes me think about what it means to weep with those who weep (Romans 12).  Here is one article about The Number One Thing Your Suffering Friends Needs and another about Six Habits of Highly Empathic People.

This post is linked to Kris’s Weekly Wrap Up and Finishing Strong.

Review: Total Recovery by Gary Kaplan

total recovery

Chronic pain is common in our society, and so are depression, anxiety, and many autoimmune conditions.  Despite all the advances of medicine, there seem to be more and more people that modern medicine is not able to cure or even make comfortable.  It almost seems as though the current medical paradigm is faulty and a new one is needed.

Perhaps that is the case, and perhaps this book is on the cusp of a breakthrough that will dramatically alter medicine—and many people’s lives.

Dr. Gary Kaplan, a pain specialist with training in many other medical specialities, sees patients with intractable pain who cannot find help anywhere else.  For years he has been trying to understand what causes chronic pain, and here are some of the things he has learned:

  • Disease is a process, and health and illness form part of a continuum.
  • Pain, depression, and many other disease states are closely related.
  • Chronic use of pain medication (from Advil and codeine to Valium and pregabalin, and all related medication) is counterproductive in the long run, because it interferes with the body’s natural pain control mechanism.  “Although it blunts pain initially, it makes the pain receptors more vulnerable to pain in the long run, so the solution is short sighted.” (p43)
  • Pain is neurodegenerative.
  • Pain, depression, and many disease states are caused by inflammation, and the inflammation is, in turn, caused by both physical and emotional assaults on the person.  Both physical and emotional pain can, in a sense, be stored in the body and make it more susceptible to future problems.

Of course, this is a pretty theory, but to justify it one needs to find a biological mechanism…and it seems Kaplan may have identified one when he studied the function of microglia.  These cells have only recently become a major focus of study.  Their role includes cleaning up cellular debris, identifying and disabling infectious agents and toxins, promoting regrowth of neural tissue after damage, and more.

Microglia are an essential component of the immune system of the brain and central nervous system, and when there is an invader the microglia cause inflammation to combat it.  In other words, whenever the central nervous system is stressed, the microglia react, causing inflammation.  (p96)  According to Kaplan, the medical literature shows that every injury, toxin, infection, physical trauma, and emotional blow triggers the microglia (as do neurodegenerative diseases), and the effects are cumulative.  Yes, even emotional trauma has a measureable effect, and if it is not dealt with properly, its memory can keep retriggering the microglia. (p 96ff)  Thus any lingering issues of poor sleep, infection, physical trauma, or psychological trauma can put ones health at risk. (p186)

There is even more:  depending on an individual’s resilience, there is a point at which, if the microglia are turned on too often, they become hyperreactive, keeping the brain in a chronic state of inflammation, and this state can last for years.

Thus Kaplan concludes, “…chronic pain and depression are neuroinflammatory diseases…[ and]… microglia are the mechanism behind this inflammation.” (p105)

Furthermore, neurodegeneration can result from sustained low-grade inflammatory states.  It makes sense, therefore, for all, especially those with pain, depression, anxiety, and autoimmune disease, to reduce inflammation as much as possible. 

So, how can we reduce inflammation caused by overreacting microglia?  Kaplan’s health-giving list is similar to the ones we encounter everywhere:

  • Eat a low-inflammatory diet (fruits, vegetables, rice, chicken, fish), identify food sensitivities, and use supplements if necessary.  Especially magnesium, vitamin D, and omega 3 fatty acids exhibit great anti-inflammatory effects on microglia.
  • Be active, with at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise every day.
  • Sleep well, and get tested for sleep problems if you regularly awaken unrefreshed.
  • Be at peace in your mind.  Kaplan suggests meditation and he often recommends psychological therapy even for people with physical pain.  (Christians would include an emphasis on prayer and forgiveness.)

Here I need to clarify an important point.  In this summary I have focused on simple explanations and on self-care measures.  A whole lot more is involved and you do need to understand that Dr. Kaplan’s pain clinic includes highly educated specialists in a variety of fields and that people in serious pain usually see a whole team of them, working together.  If you are dealing with chronic pain or depression, you need more than the self-help suggestions here, although they will most likely make your situation more bearable.  It is my hope that the simple explanations given here will enable you to make connections that you would otherwise not have made and will encourage you to read Total Recovery for yourself. 

What did I get from this book?  First of all, it has given me some tools that, over the last while, seem to have helped a family member who suffers pain regularly.  For myself, although I am not well, I can function quite well and do not have either chronic pain or depression; that could be because my holistic MD has long encouraged all the things that Kaplan mentions.  Also, over the years I’ve discovered that I need an enormous amount of omega 3 fatty acids and a high dose of magnesium to function, just as Kaplan suggests.

Another thing I learned is that the connection between emotional turmoil and physical disease is at least as strong as suggested by Dr. Gabor Mate. In The Body Says No Mate discusses the different personalities and emotional backgrounds associated with different autoimmune diseases.  Both Mate and Kaplan thus suggests that emotional pain has profound and measurable physical effects on the body.  We humans can be very fragile, and there is a limit to what a person can withstand without succumbing to disease.

Finally, I wonder—and this is speculation—if the neurodegenerative diseases  (e.g. Alzheimer’s,  Parkinson’s, MS, AIDS-related dementia), which are so poorly understood, may not also themselves be a result of various traumas as Mate seems to suggest.  In that case, they would not only trigger the microglia, as Kaplan says they do, but would also in turn be caused by upregulated microglia in a deadly vicious cycle.  These are questions that should be asked by researchers, and I pray funding will be available for such projects.

Of course other causes and mechanisms (including the microbial gut imbalance theory, which has been popularized in Brain Maker by Perlmutter) have been advanced to explain these and other poorly understood diseases, and research is ongoing.  In all likelihood such diseases will turn out to be related to a variety of interconnected issues of which current theories are each only a small part.  However, what’s encouraging about the newer discoveries and theories, like Kaplan’s, is that they often point to non-pharmaceutical interventions and simple lifestyle changes that may help some people.

Leaving all such speculation aside, in Total Recovery Kaplan has given us ways to reduce the burden on our microglia and on those of our families, as well as a deeper reason for much of the health advice that is so often given.

For those who wish to learn more, I highly recommend Kaplan’s book Total Recovery: How We Get Sick, Why We Stay Sick, and How We Can Recover.  It is a rewarding book to read, full of case histories and of Kaplan’s search to help those with intractable pain.  Occasionally it gets a bit technical, but I do not think that would be a problem for most readers.  The bonus is that some of the knowledge can be applied immediately.

Disclaimer:  I am not a medical doctor and am not qualified to make medical judgements.  However, I am a scientist with some experience in health research, and as such I find these ideas worth a closer look.

This is yet another book in the in the 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge and is also linked to Saturday Reviews, Booknificent Thursdays, Literacy Musings Monday, What to Read Wednesdays and The Book Nook.  For more encouragement see Raising Homemakers, Titus 2 Tuesday, Tell it to Me Tuesday.

Disclosure: I borrowed this book from our library and am not compensated for my reviews.

Catch Up, My Goal for 2016

amaryllis

Some years I have very lofty goals.  Other years, and 2016 is one of them, my goals are much more mundane.

In 2016 my goal is to catch up:

  • to catch up on all the things I have started that need finishing, and to decide which ones not to finish,
  • to find more effective ways to teach my children some basic things that have still not gotten through to them,
  • to spend more time with family and friends,
  • to organize our gluten free recipes so that they will be easier to share,
  • to finish the 4 dozen articles currently open on my computer (or decide not to finish them),
  • to catch up on writing reviews and articles,
  • to find a way to organize my files and my desk,
  • to read or reread important books and worthwhile magazine articles and to absorb them,
  • to straighten out the flower beds,
  • to deal with the mending basket,
  • and maybe even to organize our photos.

This is about sweating the small stuff, because life is really in the everyday details.  It is about making our home more pleasant for my family—a curtain here, a flower there, a new recipe, a different homeschooling strategy, a healthy and non-distracted wife and mother.  It is about clearing my desk, my mind, and my conscience.  It is about reducing the stress of deadlines, the sadness of disappointing others, and the tyranny of the library (i.e. when a book finally arrives after months of waiting, and now you have other priorities but you really do need to read the book).  It is about reading books I need to read, exercising as I should, writing birthday emails, making a will.

Practically, it is about examining, every Sunday, my to-do list with the goal of catching up in the back of my mind. (And just to be sure I don’t forget, it’s in my online calendar.)

Fundamentally it is about accepting responsibilities, applying priorities, treasuring each moment, and living obediently before God.  And that is how I want to focus my energies this year.

In fact, catching up is a small but vital aspect of my 2015 goal, connect, which is one expression of the Bible’s command to love God and our neighbors.

I know some of you set goals each year, and some of you purposefully do not.  Either way, I wish you a blessed and fruitful year as you love the Lord and those around you, doing the things God wants you to do.

For more encouragement see the 2016 Blog Hop, Raising Homemakers, Titus 2 Tuesday, Tell it to Me Tuesday.