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Review: Mindsight by Daniel Siegel

 

There’s something exciting and hopeful in the subtitle of Siegel’s book MindsightThe New Science of Personal TransformationWho doesn’t feel the need to be transformed?  (And yes, as a Christian, I believe true transformation is a gift from God, and will discuss that later.) 

Rather than the old forms of psychology in which a person is a victim, helpless until rescued by a professional, Mindsight presents a take-charge discussion of the brain and more.  By following its insights people suffering from the ordinary malaise of discouragement and vague emptiness can make a huge difference in their own lives.  Of course, people with serious traumas will still need the help of a professional, preferably one who empowers them rather than treating them as a victim, preferably one who understands the gospel.

This book is, obviously, about ‘mindsight’ but what is that?  Siegel  writes: “Mindsight is a kind of focused attention that allows us to see the internal workings of our own minds.  It helps us to be aware of our mental processes without being swept away by them….  The focusing skills that are part of mindsight make it possible to see what is inside, to accept it, and in the accepting to let it go, and, finally, to transform it.”

In Mindsight, Siegel explains the physical structure of the brain and shows how, by taking practical action, people can activate and develop different parts of the brain, leading to a more integrated, compassionate, and joyful personality. 

A key insight is that the mind, brain, and relationships are fundamentally related, and that our brains physically grow and develop in relationship with others.    What’s more, our brain involves a lot more than just our ‘skull brain’; it also includes the neural networks in the body, ‘gut instinct’, intuition, and hormones.

Siegel explains what goes on physically when our reasoning ability is overcome by deep emotional responses, (i.e. ‘losing it’) and describes how we can reduce this.  In fact, he claims that, “Mental activity stimulates brain firing as much as brain firing creates mental activity.”  In other words, you can exercise your brain.  While physical brain structure is affected by early experiences, adults can change the brain by mindfulness exercises.  Indeed, mindfulness exercises can reverse some of the issues caused by early experiences!

And how about relationships?  It seems that our neurons actually mirror other people’s neurons.  If we are in tune with others, we can feel their emotions, and our physical reactions such as blood pressure respond to theirs.  Thus there is actually a physical basis to the idea of vibes and resonance in relationships.  Two deep lessons are to be open to our body’s state and to know ourselves through our interactions with others.

By being mindful, we can learn to function optimally.  However, the basis for brain health is also physical:  exercise, good diet, and sleep.  Aerobic exercise actually enhances neuroplasticity, the ability of the brain to change.  So do novelty and emotional arousal, which is why people learn so much better when they are interested in a topic. (Take note, homeschool moms.)

In the rest of the book, Siegel shows how his ideas can apply to mind-body dissociation, trauma, memory, attachment, integration of various personas into one person (a crucial task of adolescence), and interpersonal relationships.  He discusses the importance of being acknowledged, of feeling safe, of knowing you are loved, of making sense of your life as a story, and of understanding the crucial effect of implicit memory.  Using mindsight to deal with the effects of trauma and other suffering can actually change the structure of the brain, giving physical healing to those memories.

Thus mindsight, according to Siegel, gives people more compassion for themselves, for others, and for the world around them as the mind uses the brain to create itself.

As a Christian, I believe spiritual transformation is a gift from God.  But, just as we may need help with our physical health, whether from regular physicians or holistic take-charge-of-yourself doctors, so we may need psychological help.  Learning and practicing mindsight is one tool, especially valuable in situations where psychological intervention is necessary but potentially helpful for anyone. 

As a physicist, I can comment on neither the psychological data (although I have several questions), nor the philosophical ideas.

However, as a Christian, an individual, and a mom, I’ve seen Seigel’s ideas in action.  His insights are all around us every day.  Furthermore, they are present in both the new science of happiness as well as age-old wisdom.  I’ve also seen many of them come to the fore in radical and obedient Christian lives. Thus there is much of value in this book, but it’s missing something.  Something fundamental.

A few thousand years ago David, in tears and deep distress, wrote, “Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Here, in Psalms 42 and 43, is mindfulness, finding one’s place in a story, directing one’s attention, and acknowledging feelings of despair.  But David, unlike Siegel, turns to God, the source of true hope and transformation.   

Mindsight is full of life-transforming insights that can provide relief and healing even in difficult cases. However, without God’s Word it is not going to lead to a transformation that will stand the test of both time and eternity.

I highly recommend Mindsight by Siegel to anyone interested in learning more about how the brain functions.  While reading it, however, remember that God, sin, salvation, conscience, the Holy Spirit, and the devil are all very real. Ignoring these realities, Siegel can tell only part of the story and can offer only a partial transformation.

Mindsight could inspire many pages of thoughtful writing.  If anyone wants to interact with me about this book, I would welcome guest posts and be glad to write more about it myself as well.

This is yet one more book in the 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge, and is linked to Saturday Reviews. For more inspiration, see No Ordinary Blog Hop, Encourage One Another Wednesday, and Women Living Well Wednesdays.

Disclosure: I was given this book and asked to respond to its ideas in a review.

Managing our Food Storage: Inventory and Eating Charts

Like the merchant ships of Proverbs 31, I’ve gathered a lot of food for our family, both from our own garden, chicken coop, orchard, and from stores.   Now it’s time to focus on inventorying what’s left, planning what to eat when, and actually eating much of it.

The tricky thing about growing our own food is that we start filling the freezer in May (asparagus) and finish in January (pumpkins and squash).  By now, we should have eaten all of last year’s asparagus, but our tomato harvest is a few months away, so we’re in no rush to finish our frozen tomatoes and salsa yet.  We certainly don’t want to finish all the pumpkin and squash yet either.

However, it would be good to know what we have so I can plan how many times a week or month we’ll want to eat a certain food to finish it by this year’s harvest.  As we take inventory, we may even find some forgotten food lurking in the freezers or the pantry. 

I do know there are many, many plums (maybe we’ll make jam), and that we really shouldn’t buy much meat for a while. 

So here’s what I’m going to do this week to get control of our food storage:

  1. I will inventory our three freezers and our pantry
  2. Then counting back from our anticipated harvests, I’ll make an eating chart.  It will show us how often we need to eat each food to be finished before this year’s crop comes in.  We often make such a chart in the fall, but making one in the spring is the next step to managing our food stores well. The food chart concept is from The Tightwad Gazette, an indispensable guide for frugal families.   
  3. Finally I will make sure we have easy, nutritious, appealing ways to eat these foods.  I’ll tell the children about these recipes too, since they do a lot of the cooking.

This winter’s Pantry Challenge with Jessica was such a success that now we’re joining Stephanie’s Pantry and Freezer Challenge.

–For more inspiration, see Workin’ It Mondays, No Ordinary Blog Hop, Encourage One Another Wednesday, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Works For Me Wednesday , and Raising Homemakers.

Review: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day by Winifred Watson

On my own, I would never, ever have picked up Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.  However, it was this month’s selection in Jessica’s online book club, Booking It, so after some internal struggles I did order it from the library.

You see, it’s not my style.  A frumpy, has-been governess, looking desperately for a new position, opens a potential employer’s door and steps into a world of glamor, loose morals, and substance abuse.  But Miss Pettigrew was written in 1938 and somehow Winifred Watson keeps it all as light and innocent-seeming (behind doors) as a fairy tale.

It’s fun watching mousy Miss Pettigrew take charge of her new friend’s life.  It’s fun watching her transformation from drab to sparkling, in both personality and looks.   

It’s also deeply moving to see how simple acceptance and love transform one woman and give her hope.

And it’s chilling to see how an author can take a simple story line and fill it with lies that almost seem believable.  Religion, morals, and godly people are boring and deadening; sinners are loving, accepting, and appealing.  Come, all ye who suffer!  Enter the glamorous world of sin and you will be saved.  Etc.  Kind of like Hollywood.  (Yes, I’m emotionally involved.   I’ve seen people embrace these lies and destroy their lives, and it’s heartbreaking.)

Am I glad I read Miss Pettigrew?  Absolutely.  It forced me to think about how an author can set up an unrealistic ‘either/or’ to portray a false view of the world.  And it pointed out how transforming love, hope, and acceptance can be.  Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day is not a book I can easily recommend, but I learned a lot from it.

And, please, if there is a Miss Pettigrew in your life, do share some wholesome joy with her and watch her blossom.

This is yet one more book (I have to figure out which number) in the  52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge, and is  linked to both Booking It and Saturday Reviews.

Disclosure: I borrowed this book from the library.

March for Life 2012

Last week the children and I joined over 19,000 other Canadians in a March for Life.  Together, we—women, men, families, young adults—listened to prolife politicians and then walked peacefully through downtown Ottawa to show Canada’s politicians and people that the abortion debate is not closed as some would wish.

The theme of this year’s event was Abortion Hurts Everyone, and that is so true.

  • First of all, it hurts the babies who are killed in extremely painful, barbaric ways.
  • It also hurts the mothers, who are much more likely to have serious depression as well as fertility problems and breast cancer. 
  • Some fathers and grandparents are devastated; others are guilty of forcing the mothers to have abortions by withdrawing love, housing, and support.
  • Of course, our communities and countries are missing countless citizens and they are stained with bloodguilt.   

So what can you do?

  • Political work:  Most abortion laws need to be improved.  To our shame, Canada has absolutely no law in place to protect unborn babies of any age.   See We Need A Law for information about practical things you can do.  Furthermore, the entire world needs laws to limit (and eventually eliminate) abortions as well as to prohibit forced abortions, both in our own communities and throughout the world.
  • Pregnancy support:  Most communities have a crisis pregnancy center that supports moms who are under emotional or financial pressure to abort, as well as those who are just trying to make up their minds.  These groups need volunteers as well as baby supplies.
  • Abstinence education:  I have a sister-in-law, a very beautiful, articulate, cool woman, who used to talk about abstinence to teens at public high schools.  Those poor, deluded teens who believe that Hollywood’s standards bring joy, will end up sinning and suffering greatly throughout their lives. A few appealing Christian role-models can have a huge impact on them.
  • In your own family:  Teach your children about the value of life, about the beauty of godly marriage, and about the blessing of children.  Teach them self-control, as much as it can be taught.  Children are a blessing; our culture and even our Christian communities are often so skewed that they no longer believe this. 
  • Most importantly: Pray.

I was planning to report on the prayer service we attended and seminar that followed, but all my notes were lost.  Here are some thoughts combined with my responses:

Proverbs 31:8 tells us to speak up for the rights of those who cannot speak for themselves.  That includes the babies, of course, as well as the frightened mothers who are being coerced into having an abortion.  (Yes, I know many women choose an abortion on their own, but many others are ‘strongly encouraged’ to do so by husbands, parents, and even medical personnel.) 

The questions in the abortion debate can simply be put like this: 

  1. Is it right to kill an innocent human being?
  2. Are unborn babies human beings? 

Almost everyone will say it is not right to kill an innocent human being, so pro-abortion people are left arguing that unborn babies are not human.  Of course, there is much Biblical and scientific evidence that they are, but who is going to logically accept what they don’t want to believe? 

Seeing is understanding, as Planned Parenthood director Abby Johnson found out when she used ultrasound to watch an abortion she was assisting with.  She wrote Unplanned about the life-changing consequences of that one abortion.  One disarming and effective resource is  180 Degrees , a movie which begins by probing random people’s knowledge of Hitler.  (Caution: disturbing scenes.) 

Statistics, such as the information about breast cancer and abortion, may convince some.  So may logic.  But ultimately women contemplating an abortion need to be shown that their child is a baby and need to be given hope for the future even if everyone else is telling them to abort. 

May the Lord bless this March for Life as well as all the other pro-life efforts throughout the world.

–For more inspiration, see Workin’ It Mondays, Better Mom Mondays, No Ordinary Blog Hop, Encourage One Another Wednesday, Women Living Well Wednesdays, Works For Me Wednesday , and Raising Homemakers.

Weekly Wrap-Up: School Concerns, Projects, and Almost No Books

In my life these two weeks… Warm weather. Cold weather. Gardening. Walking. Black flies. Another funeral. The annual March for Life. Chocolate and barbeques. A sunny afternoon wading in the river. Lemon balm and mint. Projects.

In our homeschool this week

Mr. 17 is very busy with ALEKS precalculus. He loves it so much that at the end of my ALEKS budget, he offered to pay for part of the next month. He’s also busy with Omnibus as well as the usual schoolwork.  Still, he makes time to take hundreds of nature photos a week and to work on a design to use magnets to make a 100% efficient machine.  The fact that it’s impossible is just a challenge.

Script Frenzy is over, so Miss 14 is back at her normal schoolwork. She finished BJUP French 1 and is continuing steadily with everything else.

Miss 11 finished Province to Province, a Canadian geography course. She also completed this year’s ArtPac. In fact, she’s well on her way to finishing the year in the next two weeks.

Miss 9 has not been able to focus on her school work. It’s so frustrating! It’s a combination of disobedience, personality, a cold, and a total inability to sit still. Boy, am I glad she’s not in a regular school!

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share… Sometimes you just need to sit back and figure out what is going wrong and how to fix it. I’m at my wit’s end with Miss 9…and she’s at her wit’s end with reading, writing, and arithmetic, all of which she is about a year ‘behind’ in already. I know, I know, homeschooled kids cannot be ‘behind’ technically, but realistically she is. And this weekend I’m going to sit back, pray, and think about how homeschooling should go for her.

Places we’re going and people we’re seeing… Miss 19, stores, library, judo, the cemetery (again), friends, over 19,000 other prolife Canadians at the March for Life, and the local community garage sale.

We’re watchingHamlet, Faith Like Potatoes, Sense and Sensibility.

My favorite things these weeks were

  • walks
  • cherry-plum blossoms
  • good food and together time
  • friends

Questions/thoughts I have… This one week when the dandelions bloom must the prettiest one of the entire year.

Things I’m working on

  • Exchanging winter clothes, shoes, and coats for spring ones; all that’s left to do are the boots.
  • Doing the homeschooling records, one tiny bit at a time.
  • Planting the garden.
  • Preparing for the chicks that will arrive next week.
  • Getting the verandah ready for spring.
  • Thinning out the bookshelves and reorganizing them.
  • Streamlilning my desk area.
  • Clearing out the freezers.

I’m reading… Philippians. I finished Mindsight by Siegel (review coming next week) and Hamlet. I am reading nothing else, nothing at all! I’ve looked at Godin’s The Dip and at a few other books, but they aren’t worth reading cover to cover.

With the kids, I’m reading Ephesians, L’Abri by Edith Schaeffer, The Story Bible for Older Children, and various books for school. We finished Summer Days with the Moodys.

When my husband is home for meals, we read Isaiah.

I’m grateful for … Warm, soft air, dandelions, a neat house, a happy family.

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This post is linked to The Homeschool Mother’s Journal and to Weekly Wrap Up at Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers.

 

Fit Mommy Friday: Getting Better!

encouraging each other to care well for the bodies God has given us

My personal goal is to regain strength after a debilitating illness so that I can live a healthy, active life with my family.

Your goal may be to lose weight, look better, feel better, or run a marathon. Whatever it is, please join Fit Mommy any time, no matter what your current level of fitness is. You can check in using the comments at the bottom of this post.

My blogging break has turned into a two week affair, simply because too much ‘life’ was happening.  That also involved a lot of walks, to the point where Mr. 17 said, “Mom, I think you are well!”  Well, he may not be quite right, but I am becoming much stronger and have much more stamina.  Yesterday, for example, was the first time in years that I was able to participate in the entire national March for Life program, from morning prayer service to afternoon march.  Praise the Lord!

Here’s how I did with my fitness goals this week.

Record my fitness accomplishments each day… Yes

Do 10 repetitions of my eye exercises 5 days a week …No.  As last week, I concentrated on resting my eyes and being outside, both recommended for eye health.

Go for a daily walk and average 6200 steps a day … Yes.  Several walks and quite a few steps: 5500, 9000, 8000, 4000, 6600, 8700 for a daily average of almost 7000 steps!  I am hoping to maintain that average from now on.

Do 6 repetitions of my physio exercises 5 days a week … No.

Do 5 repetitions of my organ keyboard and pedal exercises, 5 days a week… Again this week I took a break from the exercises and just played the organ for fun.

Be usefully active for 30-90 minutes a day, 6 days a week … Yes.  I walked, waded, gardened,  hung out laundry, helped the kids sort through summer jackets, and kept the home neat.

Avoid sugar five days a week … Yes, except for brownies on Sunday and two commercial gluten-free nutbars while I was out.

Eat lots of vegetables, including fresh ones, and yoghurt … Lots of vegetables, and some yoghurt.

Relax daily…I missed a few naps but more made up for that at night. 

Have fun with the kids, including active fun…We walked, explored the creek, gardened, and marched.

How about you? Did you exercise, eat well, and relax happily this week?

Let’s encourage each other to care well for the bodies God has given us. Please link up your health and fitness post in the comments below, and don`t forget to link back here from your post. Then enjoy visiting and encouraging other Fit Mommies just like you.

Note: Fit Mommy Friday is the Health and Fitness Check-In column of The Christian Home Carnival.

Fit Mommy Friday: Downtime

encouraging each other to care well for the bodies God has given us

My personal goal is to regain strength after a debilitating illness so that I can live a healthy, active life with my family.

Your goal may be to lose weight, look better, feel better, or run a marathon. Whatever it is, please join Fit Mommy any time, no matter what your current level of fitness is. You can check in using the comments at the bottom of this post.

I’ve taken this week off from many ‘extra’ things; it’s been a great break, very rejuvenating and necessary. No, we cannot afford that trip to warm dry countries that old British doctors always used to recommend after an illness, but we can live like we’re on holidays, and it’s a good thing. I’m feeling a whole lot better, although not ready to move back into the full swing of things yet.  I think my blogging break will also continue.

Here’s how I did with my goals this week.

Record my fitness accomplishments each day… Yes

Do 10 repetitions of my eye exercises 5 days a week …No, but I did focus on resting my eyes and being outside, both recommended for eye health.

Go for a daily walk and average 6200 steps a day … Several walks and quite a few steps:  5200, 4000, 5300, 5500, 7000, 8000. 

Do 6 repetitions of my physio exercises 5 days a week … No.

Do 5 repetitions of my organ keyboard and pedal exercises, 5 days a week… I’m taking a break from the exercises and just playing the organ for fun this week.

Be usefully active for 30-90 minutes a day, 6 days a week … Although I spent a few days just resting, the other days were active. I walked, gardened, shopped, hung out laundry, and kept the home neat.

Avoid sugar five days a week … Yes, except for another lemon meringue pie.

Eat lots of vegetables, including fresh ones, and yoghurt … Lots of vegetables, including fresh fiddleheads picked on a walk, and some yoghurt.

Relax daily…Oh, yes! I enjoyed two days of almost complete relaxation, and they made such a difference! Cutting back on my to-do list made the things we did do much more enjoyable and restful, too. Even grocery shopping was peaceful and fun when we allowed more time for it.

Have fun with the kids, including active fun…We walked, gardened, and shopped, and we also read aloud, laughed, and practiced debate.

How about you? Did you exercise, eat well, and relax happily this week?

Let’s encourage each other to care well for the bodies God has given us. Please link up your health and fitness post in the comments below, and don`t forget to link back here from your post. Then enjoy visiting and encouraging other Fit Mommies just like you.

Note: Fit Mommy Friday is the Health and Fitness Check-In column of The Christian Home Carnival.

Blogging Break

I’m tired, fighting that cold. 

Although I am almost ready to share a few  reviews (the Wambu books, Mindsight), and several other posts–about homeschooling math, health, frugality, and life in general, each of these posts needs a few more thoughts, a few more tweaks.  And now’s not the time for that.

Right now it’s time to pull back, rest, drink tea, help Miss 9 organize her binders, plant seedlings, record marks, doze in the sun, learn how to ferment veggies, organize our books, spend more time Bible reading, and nap. 

I do plan to post a Fit Mommy Friday update, but that’s all. 

Wishing you a wonderful week!

Weekly Wrap-Up: Plodding Along

In my life this week… It rained and snowed.  We most likely lost some of our fruit during a few bad frosts.  I don’t know at what stage a blossom can survive over 10 degrees of frost, but I’m not very hopeful.  The leek seedlings came up, and I need to plant the other indoor seedlings.  We slept a lot, coughed and drank tea, enjoyed our fireplace, and learned a lot.  A dear godly man from our church went to be with the Lord. 

In our homeschool this week… Plodding.  Simply plodding along.  That’s how I felt, but the children seem more positive about it.

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share… Plodding along is better than quitting, even though it’s not as nice as sailing along.

Places we’re going and people we’re seeing… Neighbors, library, judo, the cemetery.

My favorite things this weeks were

  • naps
  • the Little Misses’ costumes, made to go with their bows and arrows
  • good food and together time
  • When Mr. 17 and the Little Misses left the supper table on an ‘important’ quest, my husband said to the rest of us, “Let’s hide!”  So we did, and he jumped out at them with a “boo” when they found us.

Questions/thoughts I have… Too tired and drained for thoughts and questions.

Things I’m working on

  • Miss 9 and I finished canvassing for the cancer association. That’s a real relief!
  • Still catching up with the homeschooling records.
  • Trying to get motivated and organized to start seedlings next week and to plan this year’s chicken project.
  • Clearing off my desk; that requires setting up new files.

I’m reading… Galatians. I finished The Discovery (great) and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (for Jessica’s Booking It Club–I can’t say I really like it)I feel too dragged out to read, but falling asleep over Hamlet is OK.   Hamlet is our Shakespeare selection for this term, and we will watch a movie version soon.

With the kids, I’m reading 2 Corinthians, Summer Days with the Moodys, L’Abri by Edith Schaeffer, The Story Bible for Older Children, and various books for school. We finished Sebastian Bach: The Boy from Thuringia.

When my husband is home for meals, we read Isaiah.

I’m grateful for

  • Naps. 
  • Stores.  If we can’t get the fruit, veggies, and chickens to work this year we won’t starve.  I think that every year and am so thankful we don’t live in the past when growing your own food was a life and death matter!
  • Family.

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This post is linked to The Homeschool Mother’s Journal and to Weekly Wrap Up at Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers.

Fit Mommy Friday: Winter Sleepiness

encouraging each other to care well for the bodies God has given us

My personal goal is to regain strength after a debilitating illness so that I can live a healthy, active life with my family.

Your goal may be to lose weight, look better, feel better, or run a marathon. Whatever it is, please join Fit Mommy any time, no matter what your current level of fitness is. You can check in using the comments at the bottom of this post.

We had snow.  And rain.  And lots of sleeping in, coughing, and naps.  We’ve lit the fire again and are drinking hot tea, waiting for today’s snowflakes.  And I am very, very sleepy.  It’s a cozy feeling, but exercise is really difficult when you are so sleepy.  So is thinking, and I’m afraid that if I don’t write up this post quickly it won’t get written this week.  Hopefully spring will soon come back and chase all the sleepiness away! 

Here’s how I did with my goals this week.

Record my fitness accomplishments each day…Kind of.  My mind was quite full with the death of a dear godly man in our church.

Do 10 repetitions of my eye exercises 5 days a week …3x only.

Go for a daily walk and average 6200 steps a day … 4450, 6000,6000, 5600, ???, 9000.

Do 6 repetitions of my physio exercises 5 days a week … No. I napped instead.

Do 5 repetitions of my organ keyboard and pedal exercises, 5 days a week… Only 2 days. I napped instead.

Be usefully active for 30-90 minutes a day, 6 days a week … I kept up with the housework, shopping, and hanging out laundry. The Little Misses and I went through their clothing boxes, and that is a fair bit of exercise too.  It was too wet and cold to garden.

Avoid sugar five days a week … Yes, except when I was away from home and needed to eat an emergency gluten-free nut-bar, which is very sweet. 

Eat lots of vegetables, including fresh ones, and yoghurt … Some yoghurt and a moderate number of vegetables. 

Relax daily…Oh, yes!  And long naps, and long nights.  Zzzz!

Have fun with the kids, including active fun…We walked and shopped, but most of our activities together were quieter, involving reading aloud, giving speeches, laughter, and meal times.

How about you? Did you exercise, eat well, and relax happily this week?

Let’s encourage each other to care well for the bodies God has given us. Please link up your health and fitness post in the comments below, and don`t forget to link back here from your post. Then enjoy visiting and encouraging other Fit Mommies just like you.

Note: Fit Mommy Friday is the Health and Fitness Check-In column of The Christian Home Carnival.